I appreciate all that you do

Couple hours disappear

You and I are standing near

But instead of holding tight

We argue ‘bout who’s right

Who does what and on what days

Who is helpful in more ways

Who’s responsible, who’s not

And we both keep getting hot

I appreciate all that you do

I am happiest only with you

I may not tell you thanks all the time

But I mean it and you’re love of mine…

Then we keep it in for weeks

And instead of kissing cheeks

We give off an angry stare

And we find it hard to share

Then we finally forgive

And in peace we mostly live

Up until again we war

About who’s doing this chore.

I appreciate all that you do

I am happiest only with you

I may not tell you thanks all the time

But I mean it and you’re love of mine…

This kept going on and on

Like a never-ending song

Until midnight yesterday

When we finally found a way

And this heartfelt loving cure

Was to simply reassure

That our efforts are worthwhile

By going the extra mile.

I appreciate all that you do

I am happiest only with you

I may not tell you thanks all the time

But I mean it and you’re love of mine…

Keeping your vibrations high at work

My last post was 10 months ago...yikes.  Many things happened since then and I will talk about them in the future posts, but I wanted to start off with what I have been struggling with.  The difficulty in keeping your vibrations high on a daily basis in a work environment.  I know what to do, I know how to think, I know how to forgive, let go, meditate, breathe, cleanse, etc, etc, etc. 

But at work you are constantly bombarded with schedules, meetings, people of all kinds with their own agendas, political games, feelings, etc.  It is hard to keep positive.  I catch myself way too often thinking negatively about a person, or worrying about what they must be thinking to do something like that (for instance).  I find myself becoming pessimistic and cynical and that is too far off my norm.  Keeping a positive outlook is becoming a second job at my regular job.  I think peace and get aggravation, I think distance and get over involvement.  Many a times I have to remind myself of why it is that I am doing this job.  There in-lies my struggle.  How do I remain the loving peaceful person that I am at the core and still continue to be engaged rather than indifferent.  That is my question to you dear reader, with all the things we know, how do we walk that fine line?

Looking forward to your comments, I know together we will find a way.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue...Marriage advice to me and to you....

Roses are red, violets are blue
Now that you’re married – what will you do?
Parties will end and life will set in
How do you wish for it all to begin?

*********

How do you take on this gift and protect it?
How do you make it stand tough in the storm?
How do you face all the bad and deflect it?
How do you merge your two lives and transform?

All of these questions, plus who cleans the dishes
Mortgage, careers, dirty diapers and sex.
How do you reach all your genuine wishes
While in a world that’s extremely complex?

Laughter – for one, at yourselves and your worries
Humbleness also will show you the way
And there’s one more that will withstand the flurries
And make tomorrow an easier day

Growing together’s the final component
Growing apart is what most couples do
Marriage’s most unrelenting opponent
Making sure one plus one won’t equal two.

Growing together is glue to the marriage
It is the essence that shines through it all
It is the wheels to your fairytale carriage
Letting you ride to your sunset not crawl

Never belittle your partner’s ambition
Always find interest in each others dreams
Do not think twice about any tradition
If it is splitting you two at the seems

She likes a book- then my friend, better read it
He takes up golf, go with him to the links
She wants to cook – help her out and then eat it
And in the process find out what she thinks

People have interests – that’s part of the journey
Letting each other have time on their own
All of that’s true – but make sure that each morning
You aren’t reading the paper alone

Marriage is not about being a good roommate
Kids and vacations are just a small part
Most of the reason for finding a soul mate
Is so that both of you grow from the start

Katya, Olezhik, today’s the beginning
Go build a life that fulfills both of you
Love is a word – you determine its meaning
Make your roses red and your violets be blue!

....written on 8/27/2010 for my cousin's weddding...Love you Oleg and Katya!

How to make your wishes become a reality - the Mechanics of it Continued

...The way I believe this works is that Universe gives us plenty of time to make up our minds before executing.  Just because you have a thought or a want doesn't mean the Universe grants it - as a preventative measure also since most of us think things we definitely do not want to happen on a daily basis.  Thus, it lets you finalize your thoughts and then upon sending it executes them if it is in accordance with your soul purpose and purposes of those around you.

How to make your wishes become a reality - the Mechanics of it

If you have read any books on Spirituality or listened to any teachers you likely have heard this statement before - in order to manifest your wishes you must be very specific about what you ask for, focus on it and then detach from it.  It is with the last part that I always had trouble.  I didn't understand in real terms why I need to let it go - until about an hour ago when it came to me. 

Let's say that you dreamed up a new concept for a car.  You drew it on a piece of paper, thought for a while longer, created a blue print with all the specifications and maybe even put together a model.  To expect the car to drive on its own would seem ludicrous but that is what we do with our wishes.  We hold on to them and never let them go.  In order for the car to actually be created we need to send our blueprint to a manufacturer who then will look at it, maybe tweak it and build it at its own pace.  The fact that we want it created tomorrow doesn't seem to phase the manufacturer one bit :)

Thus in real world terms - if you really want something, think it through in all the glorious details and then set it free.  Don't put conditions on it - just ask that it be created with all the best intentions.  If it was meant to be created it will be whenever it will be and it is not up to you.  Be the Originator and let the Creator do the rest.

What is appropriate...or can a grown man still walk around in a diaper?

An acquaintance of mine made me think about what is appropriate in the workplace and otherwise.  She is a nice girl with set values but upon learning about what I believe she seemed to become very "uneasy".  Granted this is far from the first time someone thought me weird and I am quite certain this won't be the last, however, it did make me go deep and analyze.  Her "uneasiness" touched some aspects of self that I wasn't in touch with for a while.  When growing up, I, like many others, wished to be liked and understood.  I tried to fit in and not be different...until I realized that while I still care about others opinions I am happy when I am true to myself. 

I rebel against people that take themselves too seriously.  I always admired those intelligent, successful people that make fun of themselves and treat others with the same respect that they would treat people of a "higher caliber".  Humility is a must in my world, for anyone who puts themselves on a pedestal doesn't understand life well.  I also believe that we get lost often worrying about things that are unimportant in the grand scheme of life.  Work is just work, most of us do it for money and then get out so we can enjoy the remaining hours doing something that makes us happy.  I am of course speaking generally and realize there are those that truly love what they do at work and feel a great sense of accomplishment.

As to what is appropriate and not I know we all differ.  Not only do we differ in opinion but our appropriateness factor (AF) changes depending on circumstance.  For example, seeing someone in a bathing suit during winter is "weird" whereas during the summer we think it is perfectly acceptable and do it ourselves.  Likewise, when someone wears clown's hair during Halloween at work people laugh but if a person does the same on any other day we don't accept it.  That's where my AF differs greatly.  Of course I do own the clown hair and put in on at work periodically.  I put it on when I feel the mood of the team is "heavy" and I do so to cheer them up and to put a smile on their face.  I believe it whisks them away if for a moment from the drudgery of work and hopefully allows them to recalibrate.  I also put it on when I feel myself getting too serious because wearing clown's hair I cannot, in all honesty, continue to take myself seriously.  Thus it relaxes and grounds me.  I am tempted to wear it in front of those "bosses" that view themselves as holy (so far I haven't due to probable firing.)  And I would be remissed if I don't mention that I put in on because I love being the center of attention :) which brings me to a grown man wearing a diaper....

I am not addressing those moments when unfortunately grownups have to wear diapers for medical reasons.  I am talking about a grown man (me) wearing one with a Binky and a bib.  A friend of mine long ago said that it would be hilarious to teach a class wearing nothing but a diaper and see the reaction of the people.  I whole heartily agree.  I must admit I haven't done it yet but maybe will one day.  That would be a great test to see if people truly judge the book by its cover and if they can look past the "stupidity" and learn from a capable instructor.  The psychologist in me is foaming at the mouth for this opportunity. 

Getting back to the story... when I mentioned this to my acquaintance and added that I crashed my wife's baby shower with 3 other guys all wearing diapers and signing songs she visibly thought of me as the village idiot.  So far my attempts to explain have gone in vain and she probably doesn't want to talk to me ever again, which is fine and is well within her rights.  In my opinion however, I believe what is appropriate is all relative.  I also believe that a grown man who takes his responsibilities but not himself seriously is perfectly appropriate.   

The discussion of life. Part 4 - Bhagavad Gita as a Spiritual PhD...

After 3 entries I have finally arrived at the most touchy part - Religion.  One must be both brave and foolish to discuss the Religion of others.  As I am about to do so I ask once again for open minds and open hearts and respectfully remind all that everyone is free to decide what to believe.  If my opinion disrespects yours in any way I am sorry. 

This last entry on Discussion of Life after my visit to the Hare Krishna seminar deals with a statement from the Monk.  He mentioned that while he doesn't mean to disrespect any other religion - Hare Krishna and its bible Bhagavad Gita is a PhD in Spirituality and the most important book ever written.  He mentioned that these stories were told by Krishna (God) 5 thousand years ago and contain the pure knowledge, whereas other great messengers and ascended beings only told their peers what they could understand.  He said that Bhagavad Gita tells about what God is really like, what He wears, what He looks like, etc. 

Thus if I understand it correctly the Monk put down other religions for their partial truths and elevated his.  In doing so, in my opinion, he made the same mistake that others make - think they know the truth and others don't.  I always find it interesting to hear people who say they know everything where by stating that they are showing the very opposite. 

Why must we as a people always separate into groups and strive for differentiation?  Do we really think that God likes one group better than another?  In whose interest are we being driven into conflict?  Why must we take the words of others as truth without seeking for our own?  I find so much good in religion as it tries to feed the hungry, help the suffering and provide a supporting community.  I love people getting together in prayer and celebration.  All religions teach acceptance, all religions teach enlightenment and all of them stress Love.  Why not leave it at that?  So I say to the World - no group is stronger than the whole, you are ONE people. Live as ONE.

The discussion of life. Part 3 - Karma and Reincarnation...

In this 3rd installment of my discussion I wanted to talk about Karma.  Once again I would like to remind all that these are my thoughts that were triggered by the Hare Krishna meeting and the few phrases the Monk said.  I do not claim to know Bhagavad Gita and have only read a few passages.  My intention is not to criticise but find my own truth. 

The Monk mentioned that you can you can be born as anything including animals and humans depending on what you do in your previous life.  He mentioned that the goal is to continue to grow in spirit and there were specific ways to progress or regress depending on actions.  He said that we should do well otherwise we will regress and be born as an animal for instance and we do not want to do so.  Animals, he mentioned, lead a terrible existance and they are different from humans since they do not have a consiousness.  I originally got tangled up on the idea of being reborn into a different species (animals, bugs, etc.) which I didn't believe.  I cannot deny that it is a possibility although I stuggle to see a point other than experience chosen by the soul ( I will come back to that point later.)  If a person does "bad things" in this lifetime and is "punished" by being born into the animal kingdom in their next lifetime, what growth can be achieved by this if an animal is without consiouss?  If all animals lack the vehicle of spiritual development (consiousness) what is the reason for punishment?  Furthermore, how can one determine what is higher on the spiritual step a cow or a dog?...

It is my belief that you can incarnate as a different species if you choose to do so...I went to a Hare Krishna website to get some more informaiton on Karma and Reincarnation and among other things here is what I have found (http://krishna.org/reincarnation-faq/)

“When one dies in the mode of goodness, he attains to the pure higher planets. When one dies in the mode of passion, he takes birth among those engaged in fruitive activities; and when he dies in the mode of ignorance, he takes birth in the animal kingdom”(Bhagavad-gita 14.14-15)
“Whatever state of being one remembers when he quits his body, that state he will attain without fail”(Bhagavad-gita 8.6)  ... As already explained, a person gets his next life’s birth according to what he thinks of at the time of death. If someone is too attached to his wife, naturally he thinks of his wife at the time of death, and in his next life he takes the body of a woman. Similarly, if a woman thinks of her husband at the time of death, naturally she gets the body of a man in her next life. –Srimad Bhagavatam (3.31.41)

Again, just by these 2 paragraphs above I get a sense that if a person is ignorant he will become an animal and whatever he thinks about just before death he will become.  Being as objective as I can I find it hard to imagine that we are putting these limitations on God and self.  Are we saying that a soul has no choice as to its next incarnation?  Are there really these simple rules in place and no freedoms?  There are other passages that I will reference in my next discussion on Bhagavad Gita as a Spiritual PhD but here in relation to Karma and Reincarnation I wish to respectfully disagree. 

My view of Karma and Reincarnation is this.  Before we are born we decide on the path this life will take.  We chose the time of birth, the parents, societal factors, etc. We decide which souls we are born with and will utilize to experience certain events.  We also choose possible exit points (3 or so times in your life when you may chose to die.)  We chose if we come as a man, woman, healthy or with debilitating conditions and we chose major experiences.  The goal of each incarnation is to experience a part of yourself and the goal of Karma is to keep a history of all actions that we have accumulated.  For instance if in the past we have "wronged" someone and understand that doing so is bad but we may chose to experience that from another point of view and be born as someone that gets "wronged" in the same way.  Karma is not a punishment.  There is no vengefull God that believes in Eye for an Eye.  We are the ones that decide on what to experience because in understanding all sides we understand ourselves better and that is the point of incarnations. 

As to the "old" and "new" soul concept and being on different "spiritual" levels...  I do believe that some souls are "older" or more experienced than others and thus chose to "play with different toys".  If eating and drinking and sex are the experience chosen by one, to others these things are less important.  They may instead be focused on growing spiritually or giving to society, etc.  On the other hand I also believe that since we chose what to focus on in each life, a very advanced soul may decide to "relax" in a life and just party to see what it feels like.  Thus I feel that judging souls by their actions in life is simplistic and shows that we don't understand the full spectrum.  So to the Monk I would pose these thoughts and see what Bhagavad Gita would answer.

The discussion of life. Part 2 - Lives as Bad dreams...

To continue with my exploration of topics raised at the Hare Krishna session, I wish to talk about another comment with which I disagreed.  The Monk stated that once you leave the Karmic wheel and don't have to come back to this world you will be happy.  He said that when you are "up there" you don't want to come back and will look at your lives here as a "Bad Dream." 

The comment instead of showing how great ascending is, portrayed physical life as something one wishes they never had.  Because isn't that the definition of a bad dream, you wake from it thanking God that that was just a dream.  I would suggest that ascended beings feel quite contrary to the Monk's statement.  I believe that from their vantage point they would look upon their "lesser" selves lovingly and think about how important their experiences were.  They would think how brave of them it was to live in the world without knowing what they now know.  They would be uplifted to see the struggles overcome by themselves and beam proudly to the universe. 

To look at it as a Bad Dream is to once again negate the entire reason for living.  The goal of life is not about ascending, it is about experiencing, just like money is a side effect of success and not the reason for succeeding.  Ascention is a choice made by the being after they have experienced all of the parts of themselves and thus reach enlightenment.  They have worked out all of the "kinks" and now feel ready to move on to other experiences.  How can they in all of their wisdom look at that path to enlightenment as a Bad Dream?  They wouldn't.  They would preach joy and love and look at everything in the same manner.

The discussion of life. Part 1 - You are not your body.

I just came back from an interesting session in which a traveling monk ( I believe he is of the Hare Krishna tradition.)  He chanted, talked of life and shared his views on life.  I enjoyed the session and agreed with most of the things he was saying but there were a number that I have a completely different view on.  In the next four or five entries I will try to understand what I think further and explain the differences, specifically his thoughts on Karma, You are not your body, Physical Lives as a Bad Dream & Meaning of Life, and Bhagavad Gita as PhD in Spirituality.

Before I begin allow me to apologize in advance to everyone that disagrees with me.  I understand that over 500 million people think of Bhagavad Gita as the holy book and what I am about to say will go against some of its teachings.  I do not claim to be a student of the book since I have never read it.  I only speak based on what I have heard the monk say.  I do so in exploration of my own belief and fully realize that what I think today may not be so tomorrow.  Thus I mean no disrespect and am just theorizing on the life's questions.  However, I do ask that readers keep an open mind and put aside cultural biases.

Let's begin with the thought that You are not your body.  I understand what the monk was saying and he used colorful examples to demonstrate this fact.  Of course we are not just our body, we are a being of physical and spiritual essence.  Thus he was trying to open those eyes that think of themselves as only a body.  What I disagree with the monk on is how he was describing the body.  The way it sounded (which I accept maybe how I heard him) was dismissive.  He said that bodies come and bodies go and while we need to take care of them they are just vehicles that we use and throw away.  He said the focus should be on the spiritual within not the cage.  There in-lies my problem.  During the past 2 years I have focused more then ever on my spiritual development and have experienced things I didn't know were possible.  And then all of a sudden I started feeling worse and worse physically until my guides in no uncertain terms told me to stop the spiritual and focus on the physical.  I had neglected my body and had come out of balance.  My physical problems were manifesting everywhere and a "healthy" young man was suddenly unable to teach because of light headiness whereas before I loved being in front of an audience.  I was having panic attacks, chest pains, "hot flashes", blood pressure fluctuations, and all sorts of other troubles.  The message was clear, your body cannot handle the energies you are playing with.  In order for you to continue to grow spiritually you must get your body stronger and healthier. 

Thus, while I agree with the overall message that we are not JUST our bodies, we are spiritual being that have materialized.  To negate the body is to negate the experience.  One cannot focus on one part of their being without hurting the other.  Our bodies consist of "plumbing" and if the energy tries to flow into a tube that is "clogged" you are asking for trouble.  It is too simple to think that all blocks will be dissolved instantly by the energy.  When energy flows into those blockages they become highlighted as something we need to fix and manifest in different ways.  We are complex multi-life beings that carry a lot of "baggage".  We must take care of our bodies in order to live a healthy and meaningful existence.  As all spiritual traditions teach - it is about Balance!  I say Love and appreciate your body and Love and exercise your Spirit.  Develop both, for that is the purpose.

Here little birdie...here's the way...

While walking to work from the parking garage I opened the door to see a little bird. The bird was desperately trying to fly outside and was hitting the windows as it tried one after another to go through. I opened the door and said, "Here little birdie, here's the way". To my dismay no matter how I tried the bird wouldn't even look in my direction and kept on trying the windows. Finally, I held the door open by a garbage can and left...

As this was happening I thought...what a wonderful metaphor for life. We keep on claiming that nobody is there to help us, we look to God for answers and hear nothing. Where, in all likelyhood, there are so many all around us yelling at us and trying to get our attention because they are there to help and show the way...and we, like the little bird, don't notice and just keep knocking on windows that will never open.

Later that day my understanding was tested. I went downstairs to get lunch and thought, "wow, it is so nice outside, maybe I should walk to the other building and get food"...but decided against it. Then as I was getting food in the deli, I thought..."maybe I should take my food and eat outside by the lake as it is so nice...." but decided against it. As I got upstairs I saw my friends sitting by the elevator waiting, I asked them what they are doing for lunch and they said they are going to the park and that I should go with them. Then I finally got the point and understood that this is the 3rd time my guides are telling me to go outside. I went and had a wonderful time eating in the park enjoying the nature.

Thanks to all of my guides for sticking with me....please keep talking.

...After all I've tried for 3 years...seems like 30

Last Saturday my wife and I went to see Jesus Christ Superstar with Ted Neely as Jesus. I loved the movie where he played the main role and really wanted to see the live show. One of the primary draws for me was Ted. I knew nothing of his career but thought it would be interesting to see what he looks and sounds like now many years later. My friend had gotten us great seats and I was able to see it all up close (row D). The production was good, I liked some things and didn't appreciate the others but I am still thinking of Ted. Today I did some research and found out that he is 65. He is likely best known for playing the role of Jesus even though he has done much in the music and theatre business. He probably played this role more then 2000 times since 1973 when the movie came out. I just began to wonder what an interesting life experience he must have had. And when he was singing the words..."After all I've tried for 3 years...seems like 30...seems like 30..." I couldn't help but think how life imitates art...Ted Neely has been playing Jesus for more then 30 years on stage, more then half his life. What a life he has chosen...

The chosen one....

This weekend I went into Great Clips for a haircut. There I was greeted by a young lady and told to have a seat at a specified chair. What occurred then was .... interesting....

I was surprised to see another young woman that worked there approach my chair and sit nearby. As I quickly realized, my stylist was a trainee and the other one was there to correct and observe. Neither one of them mentioned this to me and continued as if I was merely a mannequin. The trainee asked questions (only a few to be fair) and the trainer responded, sometimes taking scissors and checking her work and fixing a few things. As this was happening I was filled with 2 prevailing thoughts. There was a part of me that was very concerned about this extremely unprofessional behavior, them not having decency to ask for my permission, feeling used, etc. The other took a more spiritual perspective which kept me sane and smiling. The voice inside suggested that I was chosen for this role in order to help the young woman who was obviously nervous get some experience and learn her lessons. And I was chosen because I was strong enough to handle it. And as it turned out she did a good job. I thanked them both and walked out amused and pleased for being able to serve in this odd capacity.

As real as they come...

Yesterday, during the seminar on intuition, Mel Doerr (our wonderful intuitive) guided us on a meditation.  I relaxed my body, imagined a protective healing light all around me, and rose up into the ether.  My third eye started to pulsate, I was getting deeper into a trance like state and then I felt my right arm tingle.  It was as if my hairs were being gently brushed.  I have had shivers down my spine during meditation before but never anything like this.  This was very very real.  It was so real that for a moment I opened my eyes to see if something was indeed on my arm - but I saw no thing and continued.  Within a few minutes the feeling returned but intensified.  I was so excited about this new experience.  I remembered others talking about such sensations and they translated them as truth and knowing that the spirit was present.  I was elated to feel the tingling and was looking forward to something magnificent.  And then I decided to take another peek- and discovered a little ant crawling on my forearm.  I couldn't help but laugh and only respect for others around me who were meditating prevented me from doing it out loud.  I removed the ant and went back to my meditation. 

There are many ways for me to translate this experience.  A cynic in me wants to say that all physical sensations could be explained by physical reasons.  Another part of me screams out that an ant is a lesson not to get too high and to continue to be humble.  Yet another voice says that ants were there but only I felt it, and perhaps an ant is a message to me from spirit.  And in reality it all doesn't matter.  Rationalizations and explanations can never answer every question. I seek to experience and this was one that shook up my ant hill causing to wonder - what happens the next time around...

It's not what you say.....

In celebration of March 8th - International Women's Day I would like to share a revelation.  This Friday during a pre-March 8th celebration dinner at my mother-in-law's home I raised a number of toasts to women.  There toasts were heartfelt and one spoke of the changing times and how difficult it is to be a woman today.  A woman no longer is just the home keeper but is also one that works full time, has to endure labor, satisfy her partner, take care of children and put up with her man needing a break now and then to play poker.  Another touched upon a simple truth that every woman seeks to be loved.  I meant every word and every word was warmly received by the women around the dinner table.  Their eyes filled with tears, they told their husbands that they wished they had the same understanding of women as I did....it was very very touching.  And then...I was told to do the dishes....

Standing there scrubbing I had a revelation - it is not what you say that counts, but rather what you do!  It may be true that women love with their ears but their eyes see all and if no help is given - sweet nothings will accomplish just that.  Men of all ages, let us salute the women in our lives and aspire to become that which they see in us.  Happy March 8th our women, we love you!

The air up there....

While in the locker room of a local gym on Sunday I overheard a conversation that made me appreciate the enormity of energetic pressure figures in the public eye are under...

A man was talking to his friend and with disdain in his voice said, "Look at the suites Obama is buying with our money." (Before I continue, in the interest of objectivity, I want to make it clear that I am a progressive and voted for Obama.) Putting my political views aside however, I couldn't hep but remember viewing photos of past presidents and seeing how much they aged in office. It was staggering. From the psychological and physical perspective I understand the wear and tear of being President. But from the energetic perspective it must be unbelievable. The whole world is watching, judging, with some plotting to kill while others simply sending negativity your way. Wow. It would be so interesting to have a psychic do a reading during the presidency to see the changes over time. The more you are in the public eye the more you suffer regardless of your successes since a good dead for one is an insult to another. With all the nominations to the offices I hope another position gets created - Chief Presidential Healer!

Theese wackos, they're crazy...an irony

Today while driving I was listening to a progressive radio station that touched upon a reinstation of four bishops by the pope.  The host adamantly discussed how outraged he was since one of the bishops just last week reiterated his stance that there was no Holocaust.  Upon hearing that I thought bad thoughts about the bishop and his beliefs.  How could one be so ignorant of history and brainwash his followers into believing such lies.  The bishop is crazy!

While my brain was flushed with negativity, I overheard the talk show host mention another one of the bishop's beliefs.  The bishop stated that September 11th attacks were staged by the United States government in order to get American people's signoff on wars in Afganistan and Iraq.  And there I felt a sense of irony...for the crazy bishop I was so fond of critisizing just a minute earlier was believing the same thing I do about September 11th.  Or rather, I am not certain of what I belive about 9/11 but I do have unanswered questions and don't dismiss the conspiracy theories.

And then the world wasn't black and white again.  I disagreed so vehemently on one issue but agreed on the other.  Ironic, I thought and wondered what the talk show host would say about me...

Carnival of life

When people get a health scare, they often begin to pay attention to the things that they took for granted before. This time it is my turn to learn some lessons and maybe even teach some to the people around me. Faced with uncertainty (no definite diagnosis yet), I find myself looking at the world a lot closer. How amazing everything is, and how much is offered to us. We can do so many things, choose so many paths. Sometimes we tell ourselves that we are bound by our culture, work obligations, family, means, but it is not true. We can do any amazing thing at any moment we choose. The opportunity is there for us, provided by this world, by this Earth. You reality can be transformed completely at request, and provide the experiences that you need. You could say “I am burned out and down, lets charge the card, call the boss and fly to the Amazon river for 2 weeks”. Or you could say “I know I was meant to something greater. Where is the opportunity for greatness?”, then take 2 weeks off and fly to Africa with Red Cross, or volunteer at some local organization. Countless possibilities to evolve in any way you want! And on top of that each person is different from the next right? So we have as many realities at the same time as we have people in the world. And each has something to offer, if you let it to. We just have to suspend the judgment for long enough to simply hear how others see their world (even if we strongly disagree with their view).
I suddenly get amazed by the way trees look, and the complexity of flowers, how bees build their houses (much respect to those creatures, true architects!), that our body is a smart self adjusting mechanism, that universe is stretching in all directions and at all points at the same time as I write this, that there is ice on Mars, that a stranger can be the kindest warmest soul to you when you are down, that baby begins to grow in mother’s womb so magically and secretly, that we are capable of such beauty and such terror, and ocean is such a powerful force…and more, much more. It is all amazing. Everything around us. Even that I can write and you can read those weird looking lines, and therefore I send my thought to you for consideration. Physics, chemistry and other science will explain the laws behind what we see and experience, so there is another world under the world we see. And another world above the one we see. Have you read abound multiverses, that our universe may not be the only one out there? There is so much in this world, and outside it, and there might be other worlds! So much to see and feel! It’s like a carnival, and we are right in the middle. Although sometimes we are too concerned about our costume or snack instead of running around, dancing and watching the show. That’s all right, the carnival is not going anywhere, no harm in taking our time with the costume.
Do I sound crazy? I think I am becoming a child again. Simple things suddenly look wondrous and all meaningful. Life is such a creation, no words can describe it!

Be careful what you wish for or you just might get it...

Early this morning we have arrived from our trip to Jamaica and after a sleep deprived work day I gather what strength I have left to write a new post.  (...then I took a long break and finally decided to post it weeks later :))  The trip was great and we had a blast.  It was also full of wonderful opportunities for spiritual analysis.  Here is one example...

On the first full day of our stay I realized that I didn't have enought T-Shits to last a week and thought it would be nice to win some.  Thus, I entered into a bee-bee gun shooting competition. There were a number of good shooters that got pretty high scores.  We were each given 6 shots into a target with the maximum points totaling 60.  I was on target and shot an impressive 48. Everyone was thrilled and the guide said he has not had anyone get all shots in the black including a bulls eye.  My ego was enthralled and I was declared a victor.  People left the location talking amongst themselves about the great young shooter they had just had the privilege of standing next to (see what I said about the ego :))  Anyway, winners of each competition (archery, shooting, bachi ball, etc.) were invited on stage at 9:30, awarded with cheers, prizes and a song.  I was excited about the upcoming recognition.  I made my family get there in time, sat in the 2nd row and eagerly awaited my moment...

The winners were brought up one by one and congratulated.  Oddly enough, I was not a part of that group.  They had fogotten me!  I was.....a bit upset.  I asked one of the "Fun Directors" (the one that supervised the shooting) why I hadn't been called...he apologized and gave me a T-Shirt.  Disapointed I sat down, received multiple pats on the shoulder from the ones who knew and got ready to watch the entertainment for the evening.  What I didn't realize was how strong my desire was to get onstage, because I was about to get the full taste of it...

2 guys from the entertainment team got onstage and announced the beginning of the show. They said they needed 10 man from the audience for it.  I had no intention of participating remembering my previous experiences of utter embarrassment.  However, the "Fun Director" pulled me and my friend up on stage (how opportune it was that we sat in thd 2ND ROW????)...

Anyway, 10 men were onstage and awaiting instructions.  After a few hints we understood that our task was to do the Limbo.  There were 2 thoughts going throuh my mind at that time.  One was "OUCH" and the second was that I will probably loose to older fatter man and it will suck! The first comment was due in large part to my degenerated disk in the lower back.  The second...you know....To fast forward I will share that I made the 1st and 2nd cut and almost made the last.  My back was bent enough to get through but my feet froze and wouldn't move forward enough to carry me.  I fell.  However, I was ushered into the 2nd round (4 men total) to compete in something even more fun.  Thankfully my friend was right there with me.  

For the second round they asked each of us who our favorite female artist was.  Of course I answered my wife reveling in the chance to have her join my party and be put on the spot herself by having to sing.  (she has a very good voice but with microphones one never knows.)

Fortunately for her and unfortunately for me they made each man do pushups with his wife laying on his back.  Needless to say I was working my triceps out in the gym mere hours before this fun event...I barely did 8.  But the fun wasn't over.  

They made everyone go backstage and perform as either Elvis, Michael Jackson, Celine Dion or Whitney Houston.  Fortunately I was Michael Jackson.  They dressed me appropriately and handed me the mic.  There I was alone on stage dancing to the beat.  I should mention that before we went on vacation I was telling myself to review the basic dance moves of Michael Jackson, Elvis and Disco to be ready in case I had to dance....I DIDN'T.  Thus, I was stuck doing the only 3 moves I remembered...

The story does end well as I was voted the victor by the audience and received a T-Shirt, Hat and a bottle of Rum.  My back was sore but intact, I had 2 T-Shits,  and for the rest of the trip everyone I met called me Michel. 

Tetris is like Life and Life is like Tetris

Dear Circle, 

I am assuming you are all familiar with a very popular game of Tetris.  I have played it as a child and recently have gone back to it as a part of my train-the-brain exercises.  What I have found make me appreciate the game much more...

We often wonder how to live our lives and sometimes feel like things are being thrown at us way too fast.  The "problems" just keep coming and coming and we feel overwhelmed.  However with Tetris and with life you start to excel only then, when you realize that every forethcoming block is there to assist you.  Tetris is designed to help you get the wanted result.  No matter what you do and how wrong you fit the pieces Tetris is there with upcoming blocks to get you out of the situation.  You just have to understand how it is helping you and instead of panicking - thank it for its assistance and make it work.

Tetris is a wonderful metaphor for the life itself.  Experiences we bring on are there to help us and instead of rejecting them we need to realize the significance of the "blocks" and deal with them.  Life is designed in much the same way as the game is and once you give up the struggle with each individual piece you can succeed.