Roses are Red, Violets are Blue...Marriage advice to me and to you....

Roses are red, violets are blue
Now that you’re married – what will you do?
Parties will end and life will set in
How do you wish for it all to begin?

*********

How do you take on this gift and protect it?
How do you make it stand tough in the storm?
How do you face all the bad and deflect it?
How do you merge your two lives and transform?

All of these questions, plus who cleans the dishes
Mortgage, careers, dirty diapers and sex.
How do you reach all your genuine wishes
While in a world that’s extremely complex?

Laughter – for one, at yourselves and your worries
Humbleness also will show you the way
And there’s one more that will withstand the flurries
And make tomorrow an easier day

Growing together’s the final component
Growing apart is what most couples do
Marriage’s most unrelenting opponent
Making sure one plus one won’t equal two.

Growing together is glue to the marriage
It is the essence that shines through it all
It is the wheels to your fairytale carriage
Letting you ride to your sunset not crawl

Never belittle your partner’s ambition
Always find interest in each others dreams
Do not think twice about any tradition
If it is splitting you two at the seems

She likes a book- then my friend, better read it
He takes up golf, go with him to the links
She wants to cook – help her out and then eat it
And in the process find out what she thinks

People have interests – that’s part of the journey
Letting each other have time on their own
All of that’s true – but make sure that each morning
You aren’t reading the paper alone

Marriage is not about being a good roommate
Kids and vacations are just a small part
Most of the reason for finding a soul mate
Is so that both of you grow from the start

Katya, Olezhik, today’s the beginning
Go build a life that fulfills both of you
Love is a word – you determine its meaning
Make your roses red and your violets be blue!

....written on 8/27/2010 for my cousin's weddding...Love you Oleg and Katya!

How to make your wishes become a reality - the Mechanics of it Continued

...The way I believe this works is that Universe gives us plenty of time to make up our minds before executing.  Just because you have a thought or a want doesn't mean the Universe grants it - as a preventative measure also since most of us think things we definitely do not want to happen on a daily basis.  Thus, it lets you finalize your thoughts and then upon sending it executes them if it is in accordance with your soul purpose and purposes of those around you.

How to make your wishes become a reality - the Mechanics of it

If you have read any books on Spirituality or listened to any teachers you likely have heard this statement before - in order to manifest your wishes you must be very specific about what you ask for, focus on it and then detach from it.  It is with the last part that I always had trouble.  I didn't understand in real terms why I need to let it go - until about an hour ago when it came to me. 

Let's say that you dreamed up a new concept for a car.  You drew it on a piece of paper, thought for a while longer, created a blue print with all the specifications and maybe even put together a model.  To expect the car to drive on its own would seem ludicrous but that is what we do with our wishes.  We hold on to them and never let them go.  In order for the car to actually be created we need to send our blueprint to a manufacturer who then will look at it, maybe tweak it and build it at its own pace.  The fact that we want it created tomorrow doesn't seem to phase the manufacturer one bit :)

Thus in real world terms - if you really want something, think it through in all the glorious details and then set it free.  Don't put conditions on it - just ask that it be created with all the best intentions.  If it was meant to be created it will be whenever it will be and it is not up to you.  Be the Originator and let the Creator do the rest.

What is appropriate...or can a grown man still walk around in a diaper?

An acquaintance of mine made me think about what is appropriate in the workplace and otherwise.  She is a nice girl with set values but upon learning about what I believe she seemed to become very "uneasy".  Granted this is far from the first time someone thought me weird and I am quite certain this won't be the last, however, it did make me go deep and analyze.  Her "uneasiness" touched some aspects of self that I wasn't in touch with for a while.  When growing up, I, like many others, wished to be liked and understood.  I tried to fit in and not be different...until I realized that while I still care about others opinions I am happy when I am true to myself. 

I rebel against people that take themselves too seriously.  I always admired those intelligent, successful people that make fun of themselves and treat others with the same respect that they would treat people of a "higher caliber".  Humility is a must in my world, for anyone who puts themselves on a pedestal doesn't understand life well.  I also believe that we get lost often worrying about things that are unimportant in the grand scheme of life.  Work is just work, most of us do it for money and then get out so we can enjoy the remaining hours doing something that makes us happy.  I am of course speaking generally and realize there are those that truly love what they do at work and feel a great sense of accomplishment.

As to what is appropriate and not I know we all differ.  Not only do we differ in opinion but our appropriateness factor (AF) changes depending on circumstance.  For example, seeing someone in a bathing suit during winter is "weird" whereas during the summer we think it is perfectly acceptable and do it ourselves.  Likewise, when someone wears clown's hair during Halloween at work people laugh but if a person does the same on any other day we don't accept it.  That's where my AF differs greatly.  Of course I do own the clown hair and put in on at work periodically.  I put it on when I feel the mood of the team is "heavy" and I do so to cheer them up and to put a smile on their face.  I believe it whisks them away if for a moment from the drudgery of work and hopefully allows them to recalibrate.  I also put it on when I feel myself getting too serious because wearing clown's hair I cannot, in all honesty, continue to take myself seriously.  Thus it relaxes and grounds me.  I am tempted to wear it in front of those "bosses" that view themselves as holy (so far I haven't due to probable firing.)  And I would be remissed if I don't mention that I put in on because I love being the center of attention :) which brings me to a grown man wearing a diaper....

I am not addressing those moments when unfortunately grownups have to wear diapers for medical reasons.  I am talking about a grown man (me) wearing one with a Binky and a bib.  A friend of mine long ago said that it would be hilarious to teach a class wearing nothing but a diaper and see the reaction of the people.  I whole heartily agree.  I must admit I haven't done it yet but maybe will one day.  That would be a great test to see if people truly judge the book by its cover and if they can look past the "stupidity" and learn from a capable instructor.  The psychologist in me is foaming at the mouth for this opportunity. 

Getting back to the story... when I mentioned this to my acquaintance and added that I crashed my wife's baby shower with 3 other guys all wearing diapers and signing songs she visibly thought of me as the village idiot.  So far my attempts to explain have gone in vain and she probably doesn't want to talk to me ever again, which is fine and is well within her rights.  In my opinion however, I believe what is appropriate is all relative.  I also believe that a grown man who takes his responsibilities but not himself seriously is perfectly appropriate.   

The discussion of life. Part 4 - Bhagavad Gita as a Spiritual PhD...

After 3 entries I have finally arrived at the most touchy part - Religion.  One must be both brave and foolish to discuss the Religion of others.  As I am about to do so I ask once again for open minds and open hearts and respectfully remind all that everyone is free to decide what to believe.  If my opinion disrespects yours in any way I am sorry. 

This last entry on Discussion of Life after my visit to the Hare Krishna seminar deals with a statement from the Monk.  He mentioned that while he doesn't mean to disrespect any other religion - Hare Krishna and its bible Bhagavad Gita is a PhD in Spirituality and the most important book ever written.  He mentioned that these stories were told by Krishna (God) 5 thousand years ago and contain the pure knowledge, whereas other great messengers and ascended beings only told their peers what they could understand.  He said that Bhagavad Gita tells about what God is really like, what He wears, what He looks like, etc. 

Thus if I understand it correctly the Monk put down other religions for their partial truths and elevated his.  In doing so, in my opinion, he made the same mistake that others make - think they know the truth and others don't.  I always find it interesting to hear people who say they know everything where by stating that they are showing the very opposite. 

Why must we as a people always separate into groups and strive for differentiation?  Do we really think that God likes one group better than another?  In whose interest are we being driven into conflict?  Why must we take the words of others as truth without seeking for our own?  I find so much good in religion as it tries to feed the hungry, help the suffering and provide a supporting community.  I love people getting together in prayer and celebration.  All religions teach acceptance, all religions teach enlightenment and all of them stress Love.  Why not leave it at that?  So I say to the World - no group is stronger than the whole, you are ONE people. Live as ONE.

The discussion of life. Part 3 - Karma and Reincarnation...

In this 3rd installment of my discussion I wanted to talk about Karma.  Once again I would like to remind all that these are my thoughts that were triggered by the Hare Krishna meeting and the few phrases the Monk said.  I do not claim to know Bhagavad Gita and have only read a few passages.  My intention is not to criticise but find my own truth. 

The Monk mentioned that you can you can be born as anything including animals and humans depending on what you do in your previous life.  He mentioned that the goal is to continue to grow in spirit and there were specific ways to progress or regress depending on actions.  He said that we should do well otherwise we will regress and be born as an animal for instance and we do not want to do so.  Animals, he mentioned, lead a terrible existance and they are different from humans since they do not have a consiousness.  I originally got tangled up on the idea of being reborn into a different species (animals, bugs, etc.) which I didn't believe.  I cannot deny that it is a possibility although I stuggle to see a point other than experience chosen by the soul ( I will come back to that point later.)  If a person does "bad things" in this lifetime and is "punished" by being born into the animal kingdom in their next lifetime, what growth can be achieved by this if an animal is without consiouss?  If all animals lack the vehicle of spiritual development (consiousness) what is the reason for punishment?  Furthermore, how can one determine what is higher on the spiritual step a cow or a dog?...

It is my belief that you can incarnate as a different species if you choose to do so...I went to a Hare Krishna website to get some more informaiton on Karma and Reincarnation and among other things here is what I have found (http://krishna.org/reincarnation-faq/)

“When one dies in the mode of goodness, he attains to the pure higher planets. When one dies in the mode of passion, he takes birth among those engaged in fruitive activities; and when he dies in the mode of ignorance, he takes birth in the animal kingdom”(Bhagavad-gita 14.14-15)
“Whatever state of being one remembers when he quits his body, that state he will attain without fail”(Bhagavad-gita 8.6)  ... As already explained, a person gets his next life’s birth according to what he thinks of at the time of death. If someone is too attached to his wife, naturally he thinks of his wife at the time of death, and in his next life he takes the body of a woman. Similarly, if a woman thinks of her husband at the time of death, naturally she gets the body of a man in her next life. –Srimad Bhagavatam (3.31.41)

Again, just by these 2 paragraphs above I get a sense that if a person is ignorant he will become an animal and whatever he thinks about just before death he will become.  Being as objective as I can I find it hard to imagine that we are putting these limitations on God and self.  Are we saying that a soul has no choice as to its next incarnation?  Are there really these simple rules in place and no freedoms?  There are other passages that I will reference in my next discussion on Bhagavad Gita as a Spiritual PhD but here in relation to Karma and Reincarnation I wish to respectfully disagree. 

My view of Karma and Reincarnation is this.  Before we are born we decide on the path this life will take.  We chose the time of birth, the parents, societal factors, etc. We decide which souls we are born with and will utilize to experience certain events.  We also choose possible exit points (3 or so times in your life when you may chose to die.)  We chose if we come as a man, woman, healthy or with debilitating conditions and we chose major experiences.  The goal of each incarnation is to experience a part of yourself and the goal of Karma is to keep a history of all actions that we have accumulated.  For instance if in the past we have "wronged" someone and understand that doing so is bad but we may chose to experience that from another point of view and be born as someone that gets "wronged" in the same way.  Karma is not a punishment.  There is no vengefull God that believes in Eye for an Eye.  We are the ones that decide on what to experience because in understanding all sides we understand ourselves better and that is the point of incarnations. 

As to the "old" and "new" soul concept and being on different "spiritual" levels...  I do believe that some souls are "older" or more experienced than others and thus chose to "play with different toys".  If eating and drinking and sex are the experience chosen by one, to others these things are less important.  They may instead be focused on growing spiritually or giving to society, etc.  On the other hand I also believe that since we chose what to focus on in each life, a very advanced soul may decide to "relax" in a life and just party to see what it feels like.  Thus I feel that judging souls by their actions in life is simplistic and shows that we don't understand the full spectrum.  So to the Monk I would pose these thoughts and see what Bhagavad Gita would answer.

The discussion of life. Part 2 - Lives as Bad dreams...

To continue with my exploration of topics raised at the Hare Krishna session, I wish to talk about another comment with which I disagreed.  The Monk stated that once you leave the Karmic wheel and don't have to come back to this world you will be happy.  He said that when you are "up there" you don't want to come back and will look at your lives here as a "Bad Dream." 

The comment instead of showing how great ascending is, portrayed physical life as something one wishes they never had.  Because isn't that the definition of a bad dream, you wake from it thanking God that that was just a dream.  I would suggest that ascended beings feel quite contrary to the Monk's statement.  I believe that from their vantage point they would look upon their "lesser" selves lovingly and think about how important their experiences were.  They would think how brave of them it was to live in the world without knowing what they now know.  They would be uplifted to see the struggles overcome by themselves and beam proudly to the universe. 

To look at it as a Bad Dream is to once again negate the entire reason for living.  The goal of life is not about ascending, it is about experiencing, just like money is a side effect of success and not the reason for succeeding.  Ascention is a choice made by the being after they have experienced all of the parts of themselves and thus reach enlightenment.  They have worked out all of the "kinks" and now feel ready to move on to other experiences.  How can they in all of their wisdom look at that path to enlightenment as a Bad Dream?  They wouldn't.  They would preach joy and love and look at everything in the same manner.

The discussion of life. Part 1 - You are not your body.

I just came back from an interesting session in which a traveling monk ( I believe he is of the Hare Krishna tradition.)  He chanted, talked of life and shared his views on life.  I enjoyed the session and agreed with most of the things he was saying but there were a number that I have a completely different view on.  In the next four or five entries I will try to understand what I think further and explain the differences, specifically his thoughts on Karma, You are not your body, Physical Lives as a Bad Dream & Meaning of Life, and Bhagavad Gita as PhD in Spirituality.

Before I begin allow me to apologize in advance to everyone that disagrees with me.  I understand that over 500 million people think of Bhagavad Gita as the holy book and what I am about to say will go against some of its teachings.  I do not claim to be a student of the book since I have never read it.  I only speak based on what I have heard the monk say.  I do so in exploration of my own belief and fully realize that what I think today may not be so tomorrow.  Thus I mean no disrespect and am just theorizing on the life's questions.  However, I do ask that readers keep an open mind and put aside cultural biases.

Let's begin with the thought that You are not your body.  I understand what the monk was saying and he used colorful examples to demonstrate this fact.  Of course we are not just our body, we are a being of physical and spiritual essence.  Thus he was trying to open those eyes that think of themselves as only a body.  What I disagree with the monk on is how he was describing the body.  The way it sounded (which I accept maybe how I heard him) was dismissive.  He said that bodies come and bodies go and while we need to take care of them they are just vehicles that we use and throw away.  He said the focus should be on the spiritual within not the cage.  There in-lies my problem.  During the past 2 years I have focused more then ever on my spiritual development and have experienced things I didn't know were possible.  And then all of a sudden I started feeling worse and worse physically until my guides in no uncertain terms told me to stop the spiritual and focus on the physical.  I had neglected my body and had come out of balance.  My physical problems were manifesting everywhere and a "healthy" young man was suddenly unable to teach because of light headiness whereas before I loved being in front of an audience.  I was having panic attacks, chest pains, "hot flashes", blood pressure fluctuations, and all sorts of other troubles.  The message was clear, your body cannot handle the energies you are playing with.  In order for you to continue to grow spiritually you must get your body stronger and healthier. 

Thus, while I agree with the overall message that we are not JUST our bodies, we are spiritual being that have materialized.  To negate the body is to negate the experience.  One cannot focus on one part of their being without hurting the other.  Our bodies consist of "plumbing" and if the energy tries to flow into a tube that is "clogged" you are asking for trouble.  It is too simple to think that all blocks will be dissolved instantly by the energy.  When energy flows into those blockages they become highlighted as something we need to fix and manifest in different ways.  We are complex multi-life beings that carry a lot of "baggage".  We must take care of our bodies in order to live a healthy and meaningful existence.  As all spiritual traditions teach - it is about Balance!  I say Love and appreciate your body and Love and exercise your Spirit.  Develop both, for that is the purpose.